Wow...it has been almost a year since I have blogged about relationships! I promised that I would finish it soon, so I am going to get started on post number four immediately.
The first three posts, biggest distraction ever, you can't handle the truth and you are too ugly to get a girl were seemingly well received and I have had many people talk to me about it. I am glad that those posts have helped some people! This post will be very, very personal...just to warn you.
The year was 1999 and I was a teenager in love. She was all I could think about, all I wanted to think about, all I wanted. I would watch romantic movies and cry, it was hopeless. Admittedly, I can be a bit emotional on occasion, but this was ridiculous. I was so in love that I was convinced we would be together forever, no one could tell me differently. Luckily (or unluckily) she felt the same way, we were all about each other. I couldn't sleep at night because I would be thinking about her. My friends wanted to kill me and they had every right because I was super annoying. I had never felt like that before, you know, the butterflies, no appetite, completely head over heels in love.
Teenager, have you ever felt that way? Are you dating them right now??
In my other posts, I have called the heart a 'lying whore' so I will change my tone a little with this post. Those feelings are real, those thoughts are validated by how you feel, I know, I have been there.
Here is the fear. What if those feelings are the enemy trying to keep you from a greater calling? Remember that our primary goal as a follower of Christ is to live worthy of the calling on our lives, not to chase an emotion. I see so many high school students jumping from relationship to relationship, trying to catch that feeling. Granted, feeling 'in love' is fun, I know, but there is a problem when that 'feeling' is felt for a significant other and NOT Jesus. You can be in love with a person AND Jesus, but if the love for this other person, takes your eyes OFF of Jesus, then that is a problem.
I told you want I did while I was 'in love,' but I never told you want I didn't do. I didn't read my bible, I didn't pray about Gods will, I didn't take the advice of Godly counsel, I didn't have peace. You see, the Devil wants you to be ineffective by ANY MEANS NECESSARY. He will place EXACTLY what you want RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, if what you want is something other than Christ. The tough thing is that he will package it in such a way that you (without consulting God) will rationalize it as a good thing. I did that, heck...I have done that many times!
In conclusion, you may truly love that person, but you may not. Those feelings mean very little, remember I told you about all the feelings I felt, yet I am unmarried. Not only am I unmarried, I know without a doubt that God does not want me to be with that particular woman (she is married now, but I have known that long before the fact). This is what I beg of you, pray for Gods will in it.
The next post is entitled "Stuff your parents don't have the guts to tell you." Should be fun...
May God bless each of you!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
The Role of Politics...
Hello All...
I really suck at keeping up with a blog, mostly because it requires me to sit down and concentrate on something! You will probably notice that most of my posts occur when I am not coaching a sport, mostly because thats when I have the most free time. Anyway, I would like to give my opinion on politics...yep, its a controversial topic, but I think my spin on it will not be!
I have heard it said that you cannot trust in a person or political party to fix America. That when we put our hopes in things other than God, we will always get disappointed. This statement is most definitely true...without a doubt. So, with that said...here I go!
Have you ever had an old car...like a piece of junk car that barely runs, it costs you money in oil, because it leaks...the transmission keeps needing work, its just a terrible, terrible car. What if I told you that you could trade in that car for something more reliable and something that more suits your needs? And...what if I told you that it is completely and totally free?!?! I know, sounds great, right? Here is the problem...unlike cars, people look at politicians differently (like the old phrase one mans junk is another mans treasure) and people view the role of government differently as well! So...if you think we have a 'piece of junk' car that keeps costing you money, then vote to remove him. But, if you think he is like an Aston Martin against a field of Ford Pintos, then don't!
My major concern with Americans that do not vote, is that they truly think that both political parties are the same, that they really do not have many differences...you could say, they are the same car...so why should I care?!?
They are most definitely NOT the same...there are fundamental differences between the two on almost every single major issue. So...research, find out where you stand on issues, always ignore TV ads and then vote for the person that meets your needs, it may not be a luxury car, but voting is a luxury you can't afford not to take!
This blog post does not endorse any candidate, however the blogger does (I am just not saying).
I really suck at keeping up with a blog, mostly because it requires me to sit down and concentrate on something! You will probably notice that most of my posts occur when I am not coaching a sport, mostly because thats when I have the most free time. Anyway, I would like to give my opinion on politics...yep, its a controversial topic, but I think my spin on it will not be!
I have heard it said that you cannot trust in a person or political party to fix America. That when we put our hopes in things other than God, we will always get disappointed. This statement is most definitely true...without a doubt. So, with that said...here I go!
Have you ever had an old car...like a piece of junk car that barely runs, it costs you money in oil, because it leaks...the transmission keeps needing work, its just a terrible, terrible car. What if I told you that you could trade in that car for something more reliable and something that more suits your needs? And...what if I told you that it is completely and totally free?!?! I know, sounds great, right? Here is the problem...unlike cars, people look at politicians differently (like the old phrase one mans junk is another mans treasure) and people view the role of government differently as well! So...if you think we have a 'piece of junk' car that keeps costing you money, then vote to remove him. But, if you think he is like an Aston Martin against a field of Ford Pintos, then don't!
My major concern with Americans that do not vote, is that they truly think that both political parties are the same, that they really do not have many differences...you could say, they are the same car...so why should I care?!?
They are most definitely NOT the same...there are fundamental differences between the two on almost every single major issue. So...research, find out where you stand on issues, always ignore TV ads and then vote for the person that meets your needs, it may not be a luxury car, but voting is a luxury you can't afford not to take!
This blog post does not endorse any candidate, however the blogger does (I am just not saying).
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Relationship: Post 3: You are too ugly to get a date (And other lies of the devil).
Well, let me start this post by saying thank you for reading this blog! I have been amazed by the amount of students that have read this series so far and has asked me to hurry up with the posting! Anyway, my prayer is that through this series, God will show you His plan for YOUR dating life...there isn't an exact science for all students, but through following hard after Christ and praying for guidance, you can make the decisions best for your situation and spiritual walk.
Now, to tonights post...
I would like to do this post in two sections.
Section One: What the World says (the lie)...
Listen, you have to have a date, I mean what kind of loser doesn't? Do you want people talking bad about you and running that mouth behind your back? Of course you don't...Dudes, you know your friends are gonna think you are gay if you don't date somebody, right? You don't want your friends thinking you are gay do you? (Let me stop here...remember this is what the world says, not my opinion, my opinion is in the next section)! What if all your friends have dates, what are you gonna do on the weekend? All your friends are going on dates, making out at the movies and messing around at each others' houses, don't you want to experience that stuff? Maybe the reason you aren't dating anyone is because everybody thinks you are ugly...maybe, just maybe you aren't good enough for a date, or at least a good one. Maybe you should just settle for that slutty chick or that player thats just trying to get in your pants, after all, isn't that what its all about? I mean, its not that big of a deal, if everyone is doing it, then no one can point the finger, right? (I'm reading someone's mail on this...)
Do any of these examples hit home with you? If so, the ENEMY is attacking you. Please understand that these things can easily be believed if we allow it.
Section 2: What God says (the truth)...
Do you know how much He loves you? Do you understand that no guy or girl can EVER replace His affection for you? Did you know that He pursued you and wooed you unlike any guy or girl ever would? Do you know that there is no end to His love for you? Did you know that He made you in His image, which makes you completely and totally beautiful? Did you know that if you NEVER have a date that you can still find hope and love in Him? Did you know that you NEVER have to settle for anything less that His BEST for you? He loves you so much...I would say that he would do anything for you, but he already has...remember? Can I remind you of it...John 3:16 sums it up. Why do you try to replace His love for the love of some boy who is just trying to see how far he can go with you?
I hope you can feel my heart and love for you as you read this blog! I have and still deal with some of the insecurities that you deal with and all I can say is that OUR GOD IS BIGGER! His love is BIGGER! You are not ugly, you are beautiful...and God wants to remind you of that daily.
Lastly, girls...if you do not have a Father at home that tells you that you are beautiful...I am so sorry, you deserve better. You are beautiful and my heart breaks for you...I am actually tearing up as I write this. Here is the good news...you can ensure that your daughter is told that she is beautiful by a GODLY husband someday, if you follow hard after Christ and trust that he will keep his promise to you.
Do not trade the truth for a lie...
The Next Post: I honestly (think) I love you...this one is gonna be FUN!
Now, to tonights post...
I would like to do this post in two sections.
Section One: What the World says (the lie)...
Listen, you have to have a date, I mean what kind of loser doesn't? Do you want people talking bad about you and running that mouth behind your back? Of course you don't...Dudes, you know your friends are gonna think you are gay if you don't date somebody, right? You don't want your friends thinking you are gay do you? (Let me stop here...remember this is what the world says, not my opinion, my opinion is in the next section)! What if all your friends have dates, what are you gonna do on the weekend? All your friends are going on dates, making out at the movies and messing around at each others' houses, don't you want to experience that stuff? Maybe the reason you aren't dating anyone is because everybody thinks you are ugly...maybe, just maybe you aren't good enough for a date, or at least a good one. Maybe you should just settle for that slutty chick or that player thats just trying to get in your pants, after all, isn't that what its all about? I mean, its not that big of a deal, if everyone is doing it, then no one can point the finger, right? (I'm reading someone's mail on this...)
Do any of these examples hit home with you? If so, the ENEMY is attacking you. Please understand that these things can easily be believed if we allow it.
Section 2: What God says (the truth)...
Do you know how much He loves you? Do you understand that no guy or girl can EVER replace His affection for you? Did you know that He pursued you and wooed you unlike any guy or girl ever would? Do you know that there is no end to His love for you? Did you know that He made you in His image, which makes you completely and totally beautiful? Did you know that if you NEVER have a date that you can still find hope and love in Him? Did you know that you NEVER have to settle for anything less that His BEST for you? He loves you so much...I would say that he would do anything for you, but he already has...remember? Can I remind you of it...John 3:16 sums it up. Why do you try to replace His love for the love of some boy who is just trying to see how far he can go with you?
I hope you can feel my heart and love for you as you read this blog! I have and still deal with some of the insecurities that you deal with and all I can say is that OUR GOD IS BIGGER! His love is BIGGER! You are not ugly, you are beautiful...and God wants to remind you of that daily.
Lastly, girls...if you do not have a Father at home that tells you that you are beautiful...I am so sorry, you deserve better. You are beautiful and my heart breaks for you...I am actually tearing up as I write this. Here is the good news...you can ensure that your daughter is told that she is beautiful by a GODLY husband someday, if you follow hard after Christ and trust that he will keep his promise to you.
Do not trade the truth for a lie...
The Next Post: I honestly (think) I love you...this one is gonna be FUN!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Relationship: Post 2: You Can't Handle The Truth
Alright…its time for the next blog post in my relationship series. Remember that this is meant to help us single people understand God’s purpose behind our relationships with those of the opposite sex and I am in no way an expert! However, I have learned through some experiences the things that I could and should have done differently in the past. The hopes of each of these posts are to help someone keep from making the mistakes that I have made.
The first post was about how relationships can be the biggest distraction in our pursuit of sanctification (becoming more like God). To sum up that again, if you are in a relationship that isn’t leading you and the other person towards Christ, you need to end that relationship right now!
Now, to my second post…the break-up post. Let me start by saying I have done my share of breaking up and being broken up with and it is never fun! Break-ups are tough and there will never be the perfect time to break up with someone! Gosh…I think back to some of my break-ups and looking back to each of them since becoming a Christian, none of them caught me completely off-guard. I knew in every case that something wasn’t right and sometimes I had the nerve to break it off and sometimes the girl had to break it off. So, based on my life, here is how a Christian needs to look at break-ups.
1) Understand that they probably already know it is going to happen!
This is an important thing for us to understand…if both people are following hard after Christ, then they will feel the same problem with the relationship as you do. This is not always the case, but as you mature spiritually, this will be more and more likely. ( I do want to remind you here that I think dating in high school is a complete waste of time for most high school students and will inevitably end in heartbreak and spiritual setbacks). For example, if you have noticed that your relationship has moved your eyes off of Jesus and onto that person, they probably have been doing the same thing.
2) Life goes on…
No matter how long the relationship lasts, life will go on. It is so important for us to realize being in the wrong relationship is way worse than being in no relationship at all, so if the relationship is wrong for you then it is also wrong for the person you are breaking up with! Many times the time of most clarity about the relationship is the point at which we are obedient to God in breaking up what God doesn’t want together (like you and that guy).
3) The longer you wait, the deeper the pain…
As soon as you know the relationship is not what God wants, end it. If you fight this feeling and refuse to handle the truth, you will actually become more attached to that person because you are at that point in rebellion to God…in essence, they have become your god at that point. This is the most dangerous place to be and the longer you wait, the deeper the pain.
4) The true feelings will come out…
This is my favorite one…if the person you breakup with will not talk to you anymore, they do not love you. I see this with high school relationships all the time and it makes me laugh out loud sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that the broken relationship should be best friends immediately, but they shouldn’t be enemies either! Listen, break up with them…then watch how they react to you for the next month, your break-up will become more and more validated.
5) It is simply not that big of a deal.
The reason we can’t handle the truth is because we put WAYYYYY too much importance on the relationship! The quicker we understand that the relationship is simply not as important as we think it is, we will be more likely to break up with that person. If you are 14 or 15, let me assure you that the 18 or 21 year old version of yourself is not even going to resemble who you are now…if you are lucky!
Be obedient…break-up with him/her…that is if you can handle the truth…
Post #3 is You are too ugly to get a date (and other lies of the Devil)…read it please!
The first post was about how relationships can be the biggest distraction in our pursuit of sanctification (becoming more like God). To sum up that again, if you are in a relationship that isn’t leading you and the other person towards Christ, you need to end that relationship right now!
Now, to my second post…the break-up post. Let me start by saying I have done my share of breaking up and being broken up with and it is never fun! Break-ups are tough and there will never be the perfect time to break up with someone! Gosh…I think back to some of my break-ups and looking back to each of them since becoming a Christian, none of them caught me completely off-guard. I knew in every case that something wasn’t right and sometimes I had the nerve to break it off and sometimes the girl had to break it off. So, based on my life, here is how a Christian needs to look at break-ups.
1) Understand that they probably already know it is going to happen!
This is an important thing for us to understand…if both people are following hard after Christ, then they will feel the same problem with the relationship as you do. This is not always the case, but as you mature spiritually, this will be more and more likely. ( I do want to remind you here that I think dating in high school is a complete waste of time for most high school students and will inevitably end in heartbreak and spiritual setbacks). For example, if you have noticed that your relationship has moved your eyes off of Jesus and onto that person, they probably have been doing the same thing.
2) Life goes on…
No matter how long the relationship lasts, life will go on. It is so important for us to realize being in the wrong relationship is way worse than being in no relationship at all, so if the relationship is wrong for you then it is also wrong for the person you are breaking up with! Many times the time of most clarity about the relationship is the point at which we are obedient to God in breaking up what God doesn’t want together (like you and that guy).
3) The longer you wait, the deeper the pain…
As soon as you know the relationship is not what God wants, end it. If you fight this feeling and refuse to handle the truth, you will actually become more attached to that person because you are at that point in rebellion to God…in essence, they have become your god at that point. This is the most dangerous place to be and the longer you wait, the deeper the pain.
4) The true feelings will come out…
This is my favorite one…if the person you breakup with will not talk to you anymore, they do not love you. I see this with high school relationships all the time and it makes me laugh out loud sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that the broken relationship should be best friends immediately, but they shouldn’t be enemies either! Listen, break up with them…then watch how they react to you for the next month, your break-up will become more and more validated.
5) It is simply not that big of a deal.
The reason we can’t handle the truth is because we put WAYYYYY too much importance on the relationship! The quicker we understand that the relationship is simply not as important as we think it is, we will be more likely to break up with that person. If you are 14 or 15, let me assure you that the 18 or 21 year old version of yourself is not even going to resemble who you are now…if you are lucky!
Be obedient…break-up with him/her…that is if you can handle the truth…
Post #3 is You are too ugly to get a date (and other lies of the Devil)…read it please!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
What Is The Chill?
Let me start by saying that I will continue my Relationship Series after Spring Break! I have been overwhelmed by the response...thanks for reading it!!
The purpose of The Chill is to equip and motivate students to spread the Gospel to their school. As a student-led interdenominational group of believers, we strive to show the school a unified model of Christ’s love. In doing so, we will reach out to all students, from every background, with intentionality and zeal. Our mission is to make the name of Jesus famous involving students from every youth group in the area, with our weekly services being a celebration of what Christ has done in our lives. As a body of believers that have one purpose, we can change our school, here are some things we do...
Core Values:
Worship Christ with all of our hearts, both at school and in our daily walk.
Preach the Word of God every week.
Encourage and show God’s love to all students.
Love unconditionally.
Encourage involvement of all Christian students.
Strive for excellence in everything we do.
Have a service worth attending every week.
Reach out to all believers from every church.
See our school as our mission field.
Be an example to the believers at our schools in spirit and truth.
The Chill now exists at Wren, Lexington, TL Hanna and Westside.
Lastly...we want to become a non-profit group, so if you can help in anyway, let me know! Be praying for us as God continues to use us to reach our schools. Every school needs one teacher or administrator to be involved for it to work successful, so pray that God will burden teachers at schools in the area to get involved!
This is just the beginning...
The purpose of The Chill is to equip and motivate students to spread the Gospel to their school. As a student-led interdenominational group of believers, we strive to show the school a unified model of Christ’s love. In doing so, we will reach out to all students, from every background, with intentionality and zeal. Our mission is to make the name of Jesus famous involving students from every youth group in the area, with our weekly services being a celebration of what Christ has done in our lives. As a body of believers that have one purpose, we can change our school, here are some things we do...
Core Values:
Worship Christ with all of our hearts, both at school and in our daily walk.
Preach the Word of God every week.
Encourage and show God’s love to all students.
Love unconditionally.
Encourage involvement of all Christian students.
Strive for excellence in everything we do.
Have a service worth attending every week.
Reach out to all believers from every church.
See our school as our mission field.
Be an example to the believers at our schools in spirit and truth.
The Chill now exists at Wren, Lexington, TL Hanna and Westside.
Lastly...we want to become a non-profit group, so if you can help in anyway, let me know! Be praying for us as God continues to use us to reach our schools. Every school needs one teacher or administrator to be involved for it to work successful, so pray that God will burden teachers at schools in the area to get involved!
This is just the beginning...
Monday, March 28, 2011
Relationship: Post 1: Biggest Distraction Ever.
Hello All! Let me start by saying that this relationship series is going to be very transparent and you are going to learn some stuff about me that you probably didn't know. I am almost always opposed to high school dating and think that many high school kids take their eyes off of the Lord and put their eyes on a boy or girl.
Casual dating is not biblical...if you are dating just to date...that is stupid and a waste of a Christians time. But, if (even at 14 or 15) you are growing spiritually and you could see yourself marrying them someday (don't say it though) then go for it...I guess...kinda.
The first thing you need to ask yourself is "do I want to grow spiritually?" If no...then you are probably not a Christian and need to accept Christ. Ok...I'm going to go off-topic for a second here! I am blown away by the amount of students that talk about spiritual things sometimes, but talk about the most perverted things in the hallways. NO ONE but GOD knows your heart, but if you think you are going to heaven because you go to church, then you are badly mistaken...Am I a car because I go into my garage?? no...and you are not a Christian because you go to church. I am not perfect and have never claimed to be...but I know I am saved because I am convicted of sin by the Holy Spirit that lives in me...I am devastated by my flesh and when I stumble into a sin, I have complete unrest in my soul until I confess and repent that sin! Like I said before, only God knows your heart, but if you aren't bothered by your sin, you are probably not a Christian...but, let's assume you said 'Yes, I want to grow spiritually.' What's next??
For most high schoolers it takes very little time to know whether the relationship you are in is a distraction or not. I will now give a list of things that will help you know you are being counterproductive to what you want from a relationship...
Your relationship is distracting you from God if...
1) You do not feel comfortable talking about God together.
**This is HUGE!! If your first thought is "I can't open up spiritually to this person" it could be a good indicator that the relationship won't work. I have been there, I have tried to make a relationship work and we couldn't talk about spiritual things together, it just didn't work! We dated for months, then finally stopped trying to force something that was not God's will. Here is the bottom line, most of the times you are not comfortable talking about God with a bf/gf is because there is a sin that both are struggling with, many times physical...or sexual.
2) You do not talk about your spiritual life.
**You aren't uncomfortable, you just don't feel like talking about spiritual stuff...I mean, its their personal business, right?? WRONG! When you are in Christ, it is as much apart of your daily life than anything else is...do you talk about your brother or sister with them, your teachers, your friends?? Of course you do...there is one that is greater than all of those combined, his name is JESUS and he is your FATHER...I would argue that a Christian cannot keep silent about what God has done! (Acts 4:20).
3) You can't keep your hands off of each other.
**Simply put...I have struggled with this with so many relationships in the past...I have ruined relationships because of this. DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE! This is my challenge...do not touch them for a week and see how you feel about them, bet you can't do it.
4) You think about them more than you think about God.
**That's called AN IDOL. Throw it away and find someone that makes you think about GOD more, not them more.
5) You can't concentrate on a quiet time because they are on your mind.
**OH MY GOSH! I was so in love years ago (news flash, being in love and loving someone is two different things and if you follow that dirty whore you call a heart, you will get hurt a lot) I could not get this girl off of my mind...it was constant, it was also something that distracted me from Christ for YEARS...YEARS. If our goal is to fall more in love with Christ, then once we realize that a person is replacing God as number one in your life, its time to make a change.
6) You don't care about their spiritual well-being.
**Been here too...its sad, probably the worse state to be in for a Christian man in a relationship. I was so selfish that I did not care about her spiritual state, in other words, didn't care about her. Gosh...as I write this I am reminded of so many mistakes (praise God that I have been forgiven). If you do not care about their spiritual well-being, you surely do not love them.
7) They aren't a Christian!
**If you are dating a non-Christian and you want to grow spiritually, you are an idiot. If you want to become a non-effective Christian, date a non-Christian...I am not saying that this person doesn't think they are a Christian, they may...they may go to church...but they aren't living the Christian life that we all strive for as believers.
8) They are trying to get you to do things you think are wrong.
**I am not going into details here, but this could be anything that you have to be talked in to...or have been talked in to in the past.
9) Your time spent with God has been shortened.
**No devotional because of a text message conversation with your significant other?? That sucks...quit it.
10) God has told you to run from them!
When you KNOW God is calling you to run, run!! I have known that I needed to break up with a girl before, before anything was going badly, from the outside looking in...it seemed to be going great, reading the Bible together, praying...really healthy looking...but I was being disobedient because I knew God wanted us to break up! It ended in some of the worst mistakes I have ever made, what looked good, ended terribly...GO WITH GOD! HE KNOWS YOU BETTER THAN YOU DO!
Ok...because I said this post was about things other than spiritual stuff, here are other ways that a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship can distract you in general...
1) You stopped caring about school work.
2) You become disrespectful to your parents (this is spiritual too).
3) You neglect to spend time with your family.
4) You stop spending time with friends.
5) You like someone else.
In conclusion, this is a long, long blog post...sorry! Post #2 is called You can't handle the truth, the break-up post! Students look at me and ask "why are you not married?" In short, it is not the end of my life if I am not married, if I never marry...JESUS IS ENOUGH! FOR NOW, FOREVER.
If you need me to pray for you or if you need clarification of something that was said...let me know!
Casual dating is not biblical...if you are dating just to date...that is stupid and a waste of a Christians time. But, if (even at 14 or 15) you are growing spiritually and you could see yourself marrying them someday (don't say it though) then go for it...I guess...kinda.
The first thing you need to ask yourself is "do I want to grow spiritually?" If no...then you are probably not a Christian and need to accept Christ. Ok...I'm going to go off-topic for a second here! I am blown away by the amount of students that talk about spiritual things sometimes, but talk about the most perverted things in the hallways. NO ONE but GOD knows your heart, but if you think you are going to heaven because you go to church, then you are badly mistaken...Am I a car because I go into my garage?? no...and you are not a Christian because you go to church. I am not perfect and have never claimed to be...but I know I am saved because I am convicted of sin by the Holy Spirit that lives in me...I am devastated by my flesh and when I stumble into a sin, I have complete unrest in my soul until I confess and repent that sin! Like I said before, only God knows your heart, but if you aren't bothered by your sin, you are probably not a Christian...but, let's assume you said 'Yes, I want to grow spiritually.' What's next??
For most high schoolers it takes very little time to know whether the relationship you are in is a distraction or not. I will now give a list of things that will help you know you are being counterproductive to what you want from a relationship...
Your relationship is distracting you from God if...
1) You do not feel comfortable talking about God together.
**This is HUGE!! If your first thought is "I can't open up spiritually to this person" it could be a good indicator that the relationship won't work. I have been there, I have tried to make a relationship work and we couldn't talk about spiritual things together, it just didn't work! We dated for months, then finally stopped trying to force something that was not God's will. Here is the bottom line, most of the times you are not comfortable talking about God with a bf/gf is because there is a sin that both are struggling with, many times physical...or sexual.
2) You do not talk about your spiritual life.
**You aren't uncomfortable, you just don't feel like talking about spiritual stuff...I mean, its their personal business, right?? WRONG! When you are in Christ, it is as much apart of your daily life than anything else is...do you talk about your brother or sister with them, your teachers, your friends?? Of course you do...there is one that is greater than all of those combined, his name is JESUS and he is your FATHER...I would argue that a Christian cannot keep silent about what God has done! (Acts 4:20).
3) You can't keep your hands off of each other.
**Simply put...I have struggled with this with so many relationships in the past...I have ruined relationships because of this. DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE! This is my challenge...do not touch them for a week and see how you feel about them, bet you can't do it.
4) You think about them more than you think about God.
**That's called AN IDOL. Throw it away and find someone that makes you think about GOD more, not them more.
5) You can't concentrate on a quiet time because they are on your mind.
**OH MY GOSH! I was so in love years ago (news flash, being in love and loving someone is two different things and if you follow that dirty whore you call a heart, you will get hurt a lot) I could not get this girl off of my mind...it was constant, it was also something that distracted me from Christ for YEARS...YEARS. If our goal is to fall more in love with Christ, then once we realize that a person is replacing God as number one in your life, its time to make a change.
6) You don't care about their spiritual well-being.
**Been here too...its sad, probably the worse state to be in for a Christian man in a relationship. I was so selfish that I did not care about her spiritual state, in other words, didn't care about her. Gosh...as I write this I am reminded of so many mistakes (praise God that I have been forgiven). If you do not care about their spiritual well-being, you surely do not love them.
7) They aren't a Christian!
**If you are dating a non-Christian and you want to grow spiritually, you are an idiot. If you want to become a non-effective Christian, date a non-Christian...I am not saying that this person doesn't think they are a Christian, they may...they may go to church...but they aren't living the Christian life that we all strive for as believers.
8) They are trying to get you to do things you think are wrong.
**I am not going into details here, but this could be anything that you have to be talked in to...or have been talked in to in the past.
9) Your time spent with God has been shortened.
**No devotional because of a text message conversation with your significant other?? That sucks...quit it.
10) God has told you to run from them!
When you KNOW God is calling you to run, run!! I have known that I needed to break up with a girl before, before anything was going badly, from the outside looking in...it seemed to be going great, reading the Bible together, praying...really healthy looking...but I was being disobedient because I knew God wanted us to break up! It ended in some of the worst mistakes I have ever made, what looked good, ended terribly...GO WITH GOD! HE KNOWS YOU BETTER THAN YOU DO!
Ok...because I said this post was about things other than spiritual stuff, here are other ways that a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship can distract you in general...
1) You stopped caring about school work.
2) You become disrespectful to your parents (this is spiritual too).
3) You neglect to spend time with your family.
4) You stop spending time with friends.
5) You like someone else.
In conclusion, this is a long, long blog post...sorry! Post #2 is called You can't handle the truth, the break-up post! Students look at me and ask "why are you not married?" In short, it is not the end of my life if I am not married, if I never marry...JESUS IS ENOUGH! FOR NOW, FOREVER.
If you need me to pray for you or if you need clarification of something that was said...let me know!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Forever, For now...An Introduction (Revised)
First...I am so excited about this blog post series...I feel very led to do this series and hope that it helps some students realize how ridiculous they are. I have never seen a group of kids so consumed with being in relationships than this group of freshmen and during this series I plan on exposing the underlying reasons for many of their obsessions with being in a relationship. I will discuss several different issues. Here is the orders of the posts:
#1: "The Ultimate Distraction"
This post will talk about the distraction that high school relationships can be. I will discuss this idea from personal, emotional and spiritual (obviously) standpoint.
#2: "You can't handle the truth!"
This post will talk about how to break up with someone when you know you need to! Should be fun!
#3: "You are too ugly to get a girl."
This post will discuss insecurities that we all face and how they control our desires for a relationship, especially in high school.
#4: "I honestly (think) I love you!"
This post will discuss feelings that we all have had in our lives, it will be a transparent look into my high school past and what I have learned from being "in love." The heart is a liar...you just need to know that!
#5: Stuff your parents don't have the guts to say.
Hmm...this one is gonna get real.
#6: Stuff you don't want your parents to know about dating.
Relationships have changed so much, even since I was in high school 10 years ago and parents often are uninformed about what dating is now-a-days. So, my hopes are that through this post, parents will go "oh my gosh" and not "not my child." We shall see...
Second, I know SOME student relationships that are awesome! They are leveraging each other towards Christ, they do not distract each other from whats important, but actually helps each other in sanctification (becoming more like Christ). But, that is not the norm...they are the exception.
My hopes through this series is that a girl or guy realizes that they are stagnant in their faith because of the distraction of their not-so significant other!
#1: "The Ultimate Distraction"
This post will talk about the distraction that high school relationships can be. I will discuss this idea from personal, emotional and spiritual (obviously) standpoint.
#2: "You can't handle the truth!"
This post will talk about how to break up with someone when you know you need to! Should be fun!
#3: "You are too ugly to get a girl."
This post will discuss insecurities that we all face and how they control our desires for a relationship, especially in high school.
#4: "I honestly (think) I love you!"
This post will discuss feelings that we all have had in our lives, it will be a transparent look into my high school past and what I have learned from being "in love." The heart is a liar...you just need to know that!
#5: Stuff your parents don't have the guts to say.
Hmm...this one is gonna get real.
#6: Stuff you don't want your parents to know about dating.
Relationships have changed so much, even since I was in high school 10 years ago and parents often are uninformed about what dating is now-a-days. So, my hopes are that through this post, parents will go "oh my gosh" and not "not my child." We shall see...
Second, I know SOME student relationships that are awesome! They are leveraging each other towards Christ, they do not distract each other from whats important, but actually helps each other in sanctification (becoming more like Christ). But, that is not the norm...they are the exception.
My hopes through this series is that a girl or guy realizes that they are stagnant in their faith because of the distraction of their not-so significant other!
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