Relationship: Post 1: Biggest Distraction Ever.

Hello All! Let me start by saying that this relationship series is going to be very transparent and you are going to learn some stuff about me that you probably didn't know. I am almost always opposed to high school dating and think that many high school kids take their eyes off of the Lord and put their eyes on a boy or girl.

Casual dating is not biblical...if you are dating just to date...that is stupid and a waste of a Christians time. But, if (even at 14 or 15) you are growing spiritually and you could see yourself marrying them someday (don't say it though) then go for it...I guess...kinda.

The first thing you need to ask yourself is "do I want to grow spiritually?" If no...then you are probably not a Christian and need to accept Christ. Ok...I'm going to go off-topic for a second here! I am blown away by the amount of students that talk about spiritual things sometimes, but talk about the most perverted things in the hallways. NO ONE but GOD knows your heart, but if you think you are going to heaven because you go to church, then you are badly mistaken...Am I a car because I go into my garage?? no...and you are not a Christian because you go to church. I am not perfect and have never claimed to be...but I know I am saved because I am convicted of sin by the Holy Spirit that lives in me...I am devastated by my flesh and when I stumble into a sin, I have complete unrest in my soul until I confess and repent that sin! Like I said before, only God knows your heart, but if you aren't bothered by your sin, you are probably not a Christian...but, let's assume you said 'Yes, I want to grow spiritually.' What's next??

For most high schoolers it takes very little time to know whether the relationship you are in is a distraction or not. I will now give a list of things that will help you know you are being counterproductive to what you want from a relationship...

Your relationship is distracting you from God if...

1) You do not feel comfortable talking about God together.
**This is HUGE!! If your first thought is "I can't open up spiritually to this person" it could be a good indicator that the relationship won't work. I have been there, I have tried to make a relationship work and we couldn't talk about spiritual things together, it just didn't work! We dated for months, then finally stopped trying to force something that was not God's will. Here is the bottom line, most of the times you are not comfortable talking about God with a bf/gf is because there is a sin that both are struggling with, many times physical...or sexual.

2) You do not talk about your spiritual life.
**You aren't uncomfortable, you just don't feel like talking about spiritual stuff...I mean, its their personal business, right?? WRONG! When you are in Christ, it is as much apart of your daily life than anything else is...do you talk about your brother or sister with them, your teachers, your friends?? Of course you do...there is one that is greater than all of those combined, his name is JESUS and he is your FATHER...I would argue that a Christian cannot keep silent about what God has done! (Acts 4:20).

3) You can't keep your hands off of each other.
**Simply put...I have struggled with this with so many relationships in the past...I have ruined relationships because of this. DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE! This is my challenge...do not touch them for a week and see how you feel about them, bet you can't do it.

4) You think about them more than you think about God.
**That's called AN IDOL. Throw it away and find someone that makes you think about GOD more, not them more.

5) You can't concentrate on a quiet time because they are on your mind.
**OH MY GOSH! I was so in love years ago (news flash, being in love and loving someone is two different things and if you follow that dirty whore you call a heart, you will get hurt a lot) I could not get this girl off of my mind...it was constant, it was also something that distracted me from Christ for YEARS...YEARS. If our goal is to fall more in love with Christ, then once we realize that a person is replacing God as number one in your life, its time to make a change.

6) You don't care about their spiritual well-being.
**Been here too...its sad, probably the worse state to be in for a Christian man in a relationship. I was so selfish that I did not care about her spiritual state, in other words, didn't care about her. Gosh...as I write this I am reminded of so many mistakes (praise God that I have been forgiven). If you do not care about their spiritual well-being, you surely do not love them.

7) They aren't a Christian!
**If you are dating a non-Christian and you want to grow spiritually, you are an idiot. If you want to become a non-effective Christian, date a non-Christian...I am not saying that this person doesn't think they are a Christian, they may...they may go to church...but they aren't living the Christian life that we all strive for as believers.

8) They are trying to get you to do things you think are wrong.
**I am not going into details here, but this could be anything that you have to be talked in to...or have been talked in to in the past.

9) Your time spent with God has been shortened.
**No devotional because of a text message conversation with your significant other?? That sucks...quit it.

10) God has told you to run from them!
When you KNOW God is calling you to run, run!! I have known that I needed to break up with a girl before, before anything was going badly, from the outside looking in...it seemed to be going great, reading the Bible together, praying...really healthy looking...but I was being disobedient because I knew God wanted us to break up! It ended in some of the worst mistakes I have ever made, what looked good, ended terribly...GO WITH GOD! HE KNOWS YOU BETTER THAN YOU DO!

Ok...because I said this post was about things other than spiritual stuff, here are other ways that a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship can distract you in general...

1) You stopped caring about school work.

2) You become disrespectful to your parents (this is spiritual too).

3) You neglect to spend time with your family.

4) You stop spending time with friends.

5) You like someone else.

In conclusion, this is a long, long blog post...sorry! Post #2 is called You can't handle the truth, the break-up post! Students look at me and ask "why are you not married?" In short, it is not the end of my life if I am not married, if I never marry...JESUS IS ENOUGH! FOR NOW, FOREVER.

If you need me to pray for you or if you need clarification of something that was said...let me know!