Alright…its time for the next blog post in my relationship series. Remember that this is meant to help us single people understand God’s purpose behind our relationships with those of the opposite sex and I am in no way an expert! However, I have learned through some experiences the things that I could and should have done differently in the past. The hopes of each of these posts are to help someone keep from making the mistakes that I have made.
The first post was about how relationships can be the biggest distraction in our pursuit of sanctification (becoming more like God). To sum up that again, if you are in a relationship that isn’t leading you and the other person towards Christ, you need to end that relationship right now!
Now, to my second post…the break-up post. Let me start by saying I have done my share of breaking up and being broken up with and it is never fun! Break-ups are tough and there will never be the perfect time to break up with someone! Gosh…I think back to some of my break-ups and looking back to each of them since becoming a Christian, none of them caught me completely off-guard. I knew in every case that something wasn’t right and sometimes I had the nerve to break it off and sometimes the girl had to break it off. So, based on my life, here is how a Christian needs to look at break-ups.
1) Understand that they probably already know it is going to happen!
This is an important thing for us to understand…if both people are following hard after Christ, then they will feel the same problem with the relationship as you do. This is not always the case, but as you mature spiritually, this will be more and more likely. ( I do want to remind you here that I think dating in high school is a complete waste of time for most high school students and will inevitably end in heartbreak and spiritual setbacks). For example, if you have noticed that your relationship has moved your eyes off of Jesus and onto that person, they probably have been doing the same thing.
2) Life goes on…
No matter how long the relationship lasts, life will go on. It is so important for us to realize being in the wrong relationship is way worse than being in no relationship at all, so if the relationship is wrong for you then it is also wrong for the person you are breaking up with! Many times the time of most clarity about the relationship is the point at which we are obedient to God in breaking up what God doesn’t want together (like you and that guy).
3) The longer you wait, the deeper the pain…
As soon as you know the relationship is not what God wants, end it. If you fight this feeling and refuse to handle the truth, you will actually become more attached to that person because you are at that point in rebellion to God…in essence, they have become your god at that point. This is the most dangerous place to be and the longer you wait, the deeper the pain.
4) The true feelings will come out…
This is my favorite one…if the person you breakup with will not talk to you anymore, they do not love you. I see this with high school relationships all the time and it makes me laugh out loud sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that the broken relationship should be best friends immediately, but they shouldn’t be enemies either! Listen, break up with them…then watch how they react to you for the next month, your break-up will become more and more validated.
5) It is simply not that big of a deal.
The reason we can’t handle the truth is because we put WAYYYYY too much importance on the relationship! The quicker we understand that the relationship is simply not as important as we think it is, we will be more likely to break up with that person. If you are 14 or 15, let me assure you that the 18 or 21 year old version of yourself is not even going to resemble who you are now…if you are lucky!
Be obedient…break-up with him/her…that is if you can handle the truth…
Post #3 is You are too ugly to get a date (and other lies of the Devil)…read it please!
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